I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
