I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
