Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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