she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
no you cant smoke seaweed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
