I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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