I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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