Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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