My liver just broke up with me...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
