he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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