i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
