i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
