the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
