Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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