this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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