Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So squirting runs in the family.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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