Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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