There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
