I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
