did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize