she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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