after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Rumble strips road head = magical
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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