this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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