When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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