dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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