Christians are straight up FREAKS
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
