we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
