I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
love makes seman taste better
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
