Already got asked if we're dating
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
