Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
