I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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