Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize