No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
