Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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