Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
