He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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