I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
