covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize