just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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