Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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