Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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