I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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