Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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