If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
