So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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