he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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