It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
