I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
