there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
