Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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