You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
