i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize