I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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