Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
