Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have aggressive nipples.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
