Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
