The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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